Thursday, March 9, 2017

Throwback Thursday

It's really not that much of a throw back, but I have a funny story from Sunday that I really want to share, so I'm throwing back!

So I mentioned in my last post that Anthony and I had a wedding to go to on Sunday - one of his friends was getting married. It was kind of weird getting all dressed up on a Sunday (it definitely made it feel a whole lot like Saturday...), but that's what we did!

For reference, my dress:


So you see in that second picture, how it's hugging my hips like that? It's a pretty form fitting dress, and here's the story behind (har har) how it started to not fit.

First up, this is only the second time I've worn this dress. I wore it to my cousin Sarah's wedding in December 2015, and I haven't worn it since. I really don't have much reason to wear a dress like that, and to be honest it always rides up my hips so there's lots of downward-tugging that happens when I do wear it!

Anyways, we got to the venue right on time and headed in to our seats. Shortly after the ceremony, during the post-ceremony, pre-reception mingling I went to the bathroom. Right before exiting I ran my hands down my dress, checked myself out (hey, don't judge), and during the hand-running I came to a very startling and embarrassing realization: The dress had a hole in it. Right.over.my.butt.

Not near my butt, not low towards the bottom seam...right smack dab in the middle of my butt, where you could poke a hole through my underwear to my you-know-what.

I couldn't believe it. I just stood there in drunken disbelief for a few moments (legitimately drunken because I was drunk), trying to turn my head enough to get the best look possible in the mirror. It was bad. The more I tried to make it less obvious, the more the hole grew. It was actually getting bigger. What started as a dime-sized hole was quarter size in no time. And then bigger.

I exited the bathroom and walked to Anthony as quickly as possible and told him of the problem.

He laughed. >:o

I'm just kidding about the angry face, I laughed while I was telling him. I finally snagged one of the bridesmaids and asked if there was a sewing kit for the bride's dress in the event of last minute repairs.

There wasn't.

Of course there wasn't. Also, not one person had a safety pin...well, at least not anyone we asked (and the mother of the bride helped with the asking). I was thinking Anthony and I would have to drive back to his house so I could get one...when I realized there was a JoAnn Fabrics across the street from the venue we were at.

Hallelujah!

I sent begged Anthony to go buy me a travel sewing kit so I could sneak into the bathroom and repair things, and he finally did. Fifteen minutes later he returned with black thread and needles and a few later I was sitting in a bathroom stall, dress in my lap, sewing up the offending hole while I squinted with one drunken eye to make sure my stitches were straight so the fabric wouldn't pull or gather and give some kind of winky bum-hole look to the dress. I sewed and sewed, and then used my teeth to cut the thread.

It is officially the most clutch thing I have ever done in my life :P

It wasn't too long before I was pulling it back on and asking the first person I encountered in the Ladies room to zip me up while I checked to make sure the dress looked okay (read: hole-less).

The result was perfection. You couldn't tell anything had happened. There was no hole, and I slid back into my seat before any part of dinner was served.

We had our fun and our drinks and our dinner, I actually met the bride and groom, and the rest of the night passed without any more holes to mend!


It's the best I could do without asking someone to take a picture of my butt. You can't see my underwear, which you'd be able to if it hadn't been fixed :P

But my absolutely favorite part of this wedding was knowing there's a very good reason for girls everyone to learn how to sew!


x

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