Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Reunions

You probably feel extra special to get two blog posts in one day, and you are. I actually have quite a few drafted posts ready to go up...some are just missing pictures and others I'm waiting "for the right time". Well...right now is the right time for this one because I need to get all the feels out of my head.

SO.

This year marks 10 years since I graduated from high school. Almost every time I get together with the few friends I have from high school there's a lingering question..."Are we having a reunion?"

Well, I was added to a Facebook group a few days ago that confirmed we are indeed having one! Some people started threads about what they're up to, and then the dreaded question popped up. A question I need to write about because I feel like everything seemed to devolve after it was asked:

"Hey! I have a kid! Can we do this at a time and place so I can bring my kid too?!"

Ah, yes. Parents. I am totally respectful of the fact that a ton of my classmates are parents now (one even offered to lend me a child so I wouldn't feel left out). I joked that I'm mildly allergic to kids, but the truth is that I do like (some) children.

I will say though...I'm kind of shocked that this was even brought up. I have never in my life heard of a school reunion that involved toddlers, and as I've mentioned this to coworkers, parents, and other friends and family, they've all been really surprised that people want to bring their children.

I probably sound like I'm really against the idea, and I suppose I initially leaned that way because I expected it to be at night, at a bar...not in the middle of the day at a park. Honestly, I'd be cool with either, as long as no one gets mad at me for tripping over their three year old and swearing like a sailor.

Regardless, I took to the internet to discover if there's some etiquette or protocol to handle this, and I haven't found anything useful. But I did find this article which pointed out...allowing kids might turn it into one giant Mommy-Daddy play date, instead of what it's supposed to be:

All of us getting drunk and being awkward because it's been 10 years and we probably don't really care what everyone else has been up to, but we want to see if those few people we lost touch with are coming.

Now before I proceed, I want to pause to remind the audience: All of this is coming from someone who's intentionally waiting until after their 30th birthday to have kids. I'm waiting because I fully realize that kids come with close to nothing but responsibility. I am not ready to relinquish my youthful independence yet. I feel like every time I hold a baby people ask, "Can you feel your ovaries exploding?!" And I'm always like, "No. My ovaries are rational. I look at this baby and they tell me, 'This thing you're holding? It is a poop filled bundle of 100% pure responsibility. You can totally wait a while to have one of your own.'"

But I'm also not heartless, and I get that people with kids need and want flexibility.

So now there is a solution floating around...because I volunteered to coordinate one (not to sound all self-important). I totally get that it can be hard for parents to get a sitter and/or things come up with their kid(s) and/or they have an infant that doesn't do well with bottles, etc. The childless, semi-heartless part of me wants to say, "Well. You're a parent now. Those are the sacrifices you make..."

But again, not actually heartless. So while another group plans the adult-only event, I'm going to figure out if there are enough people interested to formally plan a family-friendly event in addition to the adult-only one. If there is, great! I'll plan it. If there's not, great! I won't.

And now no one is ever allowed to say I don't like children ;)

*I have to add, mad props to the one person (who has kids) who messaged me to tell me it's really swell that I'm willing to plan something like this for other people's kids. There's actually a lot of negative feedback on the other end making me feel like it was fruitless to even offer. In my opinion: I think people from both sides are lacking empathy at the moment. Like I said, I totally get both views, but I'm a humanist and if there is a solution to placate both parties I am all for bringing that to fruition.

Also...
(Now that I've said I'll plan part of this if necessary ) I hate to be a Negative Nancy, but the more I read through the Facebook thread, the more unsure I feel about the whole spiel. It's like once you put the high schoolers back in a group together everyone acts...like they're in high school.

We have all undoubtedly changed in many ways. Everything about my life has done a complete 180 since I was a teenager. I'm still stubborn and whatnot, but I'm a lot nicer about it now than I was when I was 17-18.

There are a few people I'd like to reconnect with in person who I think I'd only see if I went to a reunion. Sadly (and probably predictably as well) I just do not care about seeing a majority of these people, and I doubt they care to see me. It's like every day someone I don't care to see pops up on this thing and the little voice in my head goes, 'Eugh. Oh yeah. You. *sigh*'

Not to mention, the odds of running into That Bitch Who Kicked Me Out of Her Wedding For 'Stealing Her Thunder' By Having Non-Elective Surgery are very high. Ugh. Talk about people I don't want to see.

I'm not the first person to say these things, and I doubt I'll be the last. I'm sure loads of people feel this way about reunions. I've been kind of speculating and dreading mine for years...and decision time is rapidly approaching.

So there's all that. I'll let you know what I end up deciding to do...


x

(And yet another post I've gotten to the end of through which I've probably made everyone on both sides sufficiently mad enough to have lost all of my readership. If anyone from CLS '06 is reading...see you guys this summer! Maybe. You can berate me then.)

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