Monday, December 28, 2015

Hello, Winter Hellishland!

For the last few days we've had weather warnings going around predicting icy roads for today. I stayed at Cam's last night because the roads were supposed to get bad around the time I normally commute in...surprise surprise when they didn't, though I was in for quite a treat this afternoon...

Now, I'm a hanging-rock kind of weather person. For those who don't know, you can buy these cute little rock-on-a-rope things and hang them outside, and the rock comes with a little card that says things like:

  • If the rock is wet, it's raining.
  • If the rock is white, it's snowing.
  • If the rock is swaying, it's windy.
Etc. The jist is that, unlike a normal person who flips on the weather channel or checks their phone, you have now looked outside at the rock to see what the weather is like, and looking out the window does just as good of a job.

And by all that I mean: I don't usually know (or care) what the weather is like until it's hitting me in the face.

Well hello world, today I wish I'd taken those warnings I saw on Facebook a little more seriously. All of the smokers at work were talking about how bad the weather was, but they normally blow things out of proportion a bit so I tend to ignore what they're saying. (They're also usually talking about the weather, which everyone tends to blow out of proportion, so I double ignore it). But when I left work a little while ago I was almost blown away walking from the building to the parking garage.

I'm not kidding either.

Right when I walked out there was this tiny woman (she was about 5 feet tall) who asked if she could hold on to me while we walked, and I said sure. It's a good thing she did because I don't know what would have happened to her if I hadn't!

It took all my effort to keep walking forward and not slide right across the sidewalk into the parking lot, sweeping the woman with me. For all of 15 feet! It was the longest 15 foot walk of my life, with little bits of snow and hail flying into me, stabbing my cheeks and exposed legs (I was wearing crops for PT) like a million pin-sized missiles. Brutal!

As soon as I got out of the parking garage onto the road I decided I would not be going to PT. The wind was brutal, and the roads were basically snow-covered ice. Instead, I drove to Cam's!

I have issues driving in inclement weather, but within 10 seconds I was glad I'd made the decision to go to Cam's (10 minutes from work rather than the 40ish it takes me to get home). I had to change lanes at one point and just the prospect was giving me such bad anxiety, and I was sure I was going to crash into four other cars and slide through six intersections during the change. But I made it.

Upon pulling in and seeing his driveway covered with a good two inches of snow, I decided to get out and shovel before he came home and started doing it himself. He hasn't been feeling good at all today, and even though I knew he would help when he got home, I didn't want him out there for too long. So I threw on my sweats and grabbed a dickie, gloves, and a shovel and got to it.

What I really wanted to do was curl up under a warm light like this guy and do nothing:


And holy.freaking.hell.

Heaviest snow ever. I contemplated trying to use the snow blower, but figured that with my luck it would jam or I'd eff it up somehow, so instead I shoveled more than half the driveway by hand before Cam got home and did the rest with the snowblower (which worked just fine, btw).

While I was shoveling I saw about a half dozen cars trying to creep around the neighborhood, and then I saw a squirrel and the only thing that came into my head was, "That is one fucking crazy stupid squirrel. Why the hell is he out?!" (And I hope he made it home okay!)

So rather than going to PT tonight, I spent one long, cold, sweaty, stabby-snow hour shoveling the heaviest, wettest snow I have ever encountered. And I'm not one of those weird people (like Cam) who actually enjoys shoveling. Oh no. I am not.

Of all things, it made me happy that I'll be able to get back to dead lifting soon because my lower back needs some training to handle this shiz.

I'm sure that this is just weirdo rambling to most of you, but it seems like the weather everywhere has just been weird lately. The tornadoes in Texas, crazy bad flooding in northern England...I sincerely hope that things get a little less bizarre and intense over the next 24 or so hours. On my end, I'd just like to go home tomorrow, please! As it is, I'll be wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow that I wore today...nbd since approximately 60% of people are on PTO this week, but still weird.

And now I'm off. I need to shower my sweaty be-hind and then Cam and I are going to watch the second half of The Empire Strikes Back.

Peace out, yo!


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