Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Halloween & The Deconstruction of a Beard

Hello Blogosphere! If you are a friend from Facebook, I must first apologize for taking so long to post this. I was absolutely shattered on Sunday after all the fun Saturday night, and I've been a tidbit too busy since then to write. But here I am, back to make amends.

So first I'm gonna say that Halloween was a ton of fun this year. Last year my mom had a party that most of our friends and family came to so I was at home, but this year, since Halloween fell on a Saturday, a few of the Wack Pack decided to hit the road. (Footnote: Wack Pack is the name Cam's dad gave to our group of friends. I dunno. Just how it goes.)

Saturday morning Cam and I ran some errands and got our swim workout in, then around 1 we left to go visit our friends Brian and Stephanie who live a few hours south of us. It was a super boring drive because nearly all of Illinois looks this flat, and it rained the entire way there:


We got there around 4 and put our costumes together, had dinner at their house and then headed out. We Ubered to downtown Champaign, walked to quite a few bars before heading (on foot) to the U of I campus, and may have had one (or, you know, more) drinks. It was a fun night, lots of laughing and dancing (and did I mention the walking that nearly did me in when I fell off a sidewalk?). Most of all though, it was worth every minute of the long drive.

We got back to our hotel right as the clocks rolled back, stayed up laughing a bit more, then fell into exhausted slumber before waking up way to early to check out and head home, where I, personally, did more sitting and sleeping because I was still recuperating from the festivities.

I only took a few pictures and they're at the end of this post for you to check out because I don't want to shock you with Cam's beardless face right away. The nakedness, and his cute-as-a-baby's-butt dimples are just too much for the unsuspecting mind to comprehend. Imminent Brain Explosion if I don't ease you into it.

So instead I will take you on a journey...

The Deconstruction of a Beard.

(Yes, I took pictures at every stage, and Cam's mom (Bird) and I may or may not have laughed ourselves silly during the process.)

We started here: Full Beard, and only a twinge (hah...) of sadness at the prospect of its imminent removal.


Then he got a bit angry about it:


Alas, the process had to begin, so begin it did...


We (Bird and I) decided it was in everyone's best interest to stop for a few photos of certain long sought-after styles. How lucky are you that you can view the gallery?!

We begin with The Goatee (long style...the kind you're afraid will end up in your food just looking at him):


And then, The Pirate's Braided Goatee - for those men who have a length long enough but don't want to get it in their food, or lose hairs all down the front of their shirt (held together with a bit too much pomade, because I was overzealous in my excitement):


Alas, the razor struck again, and we have for you - The Fu Manchu!!


And it's lesser-known variation, The Dead Walrus:


Next, he brought out The Handlebars. Don't fuck with the handlebars:


My personal favorite was up after another pass of the blades. As soon as I say it, you'll see it! Parks and Rec's own...Ron Swanson!


Told you that's the best one. TELL ME YOU DIDN'T LAUGH AND SAY, "OMG, THAT REALLY IS RON SWANSON!" And for those of you out there who are heathens and don't watch Parks&Rec, here's your (wholly undeserved) reference:


Told you.

Moving on! Since no one could resist, the final mustache variation was...well, I'll let you guess who it's named after. Nah, only kidding. The Angry Charlie Chaplin! (Tee hee *wink*)


At this point, the real hairs were gone. All that was left was buzz-razor stubble:


Well...buzz-razor stubble and trimmings (and I'll spare you the picture of the garbage can full of hair):

(Gross.)
Next up was the trimming of the nose-hairs. His reactions and mine. Me: "Ow, ow, owowow, omg doesn't that hurt? Ow, eww, oh jeez that sounds terrible!" Him: "It just tickles a lot!"


The last step was to lather up and scrape it off for a close, baby smooth shave:


At this point he started playing "Happy Trails To You", and was in Full Mourn Mode.

Now, dear friends, I present you with.....

The Beardless Man!
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Aha! Found it!


AND NOW LOOK AT THESE DIMPLES! D'awwwwwwww!!!


And that, is The Deconstruction of a Beard.

I didn't mention it before, but that was a whole year's worth of growth. Cam only trimmed that thing once, and it was when we were in Idaho over the summer because Nana and I made him (mostly I made him because I spent 6 months suffocating in it whenever we hugged).

But now we have No-Shave-November, Decembeard, Manuary, and Furry-furry-February to look forward to. After that it's Mustache March, unless Cam decids to do a Perpetual Playoff Beard again for basketball (which he doesn't care about), then hockey (he cares more about that), and by then he's run out of excuses and may as well just wait until October 31st to shave for NSN again.

*sigh* The things we let our men do.

That said...I promised you some Halloween pics! I only have a few because I'm notoriously bad at taking them, but here you go - lighting is terrible for most:
Emmet and Wyldstyle!
He wanted to get in character for this one.
I love this tank top I made, so here are some pics of that, and a few college-girl-selfies in the bathroom:


My awesome tank top...'everything is AWESOME' on the front, "I *heart* Emmet" on the back...and the heart is made out of lego pieces because I'm adorable and creative like that.
We also snagged this sweet selife with a model ;P


Took a few pictures at the bar of this ridiculous shot our Uber driver told us to get (the girls did not, the boys all did):

It was called a Fagey (sp?) Shot. None of us actually knew the name because it was weird and it was the perfect example of telephone - we all heard the driver say something different. It had some ridiculous mix of every kind of Smirnoff vodka, juice, Red Bull, and cream, and because of the cream you had to do it as a shot. More power to ya, boys.
And I can't leave out Sexy Edgar Allan Hoe (who was super excited that I knew who he was, because apparently not many people did, even though he had a giant effing raven perched on his shoulder that you can't see in this picture):



You have now experienced our Halloween day and evening in pictures...I hope you enjoyed! And if you have any idea what that shot was called, leave a comment telling me so I can be sure to never, ever, go near it.

I hope this post was worth the wait...until next time!


x

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