Friday, January 30, 2015

Is this the hill I want to die on?

It is now Friday evening.

*Deep Breath*

And it has been one of those weeks.

I actually really wanted to post about this yesterday, but I needed time to process. And then things just got worse anyways. Hurrah.

Yesterday and today both turned out to be the type of day that I wanted to shake my fist at angrily and yell, 'You can go to hell in a handbasket!'

You know the ones I'm talking about. Starts out innocent enough, and before you know it you feel like you're sliding down a mountainous slope, ever gaining speed, and you're not exactly sure where your newly fashioned ski slope is going to end, or what will become of you when it does.

And I'm not sure about anyone else, but I feel like, in addition to that out-of-control feeling, there is always some part of whatever's going on that takes me from a good place, high up in the clouds, back down to the rough realities of life. At first it was just at work, but then it got personal as well.

Yesterday and today were both days like that. I feel the past few weeks have been full of days that are either peaks or valleys, and what I'd really like at this point are a few plateaus.

I have coped by listening to a lot of British Dance Band music, and asking myself, for each issue, "Is this the hill I want to die on?"

I think it's an important question because it forces acknowledgement of possible outcomes, and in doing so makes you consider the scenario before you and possible ways to address it depending on the desired outcome.

That said, I still have no idea which hills I'm willing to stake myself on. This has all been good (or terrible) cause for reflection, but it's left me fairly confused regardless.

The happier part of this story is that I stumbled upon some of my dad's old CDs a few weeks ago - right around New Years'. He listened to a lot of big band jazz when he was alive, and I honestly forgot how much I liked the sound of the music. Part of it is incredibly nostalgic for me, and the other part is genuinely falling in love with the genre.

At the beginning of the week I had an inkling that it would be a tough one. I wrote about the planner I bought, and in the "Notes" section on the first page, I wrote the opening lyrics to this song, Looking On the Bright Side of Life. It's sung by Al Bowlly - easily my favorite singer of the era. The lyrics don't start until well over a minute in (definitely a trait of big band music), but it's worth the listen if only for the "bad days pass" outlook, set to a peppy tune.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

Now here's hoping to a better Saturday!


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